So You Want to Grow, But Where Do You Start?

Several paths, one tangled thought bubble, and the question many of us are asking lately: Where do I even start?

The self-improvement trend seems to be having a moment these days. Therapy talk has gone mainstream on social media, the #selfimprovement hashtag is sitting at 13.8 million posts, everyone from your coworker to your favorite podcaster seems to be sitting somewhere in the middle of "working on themselves" (myself included, I currently have three half-finished nonfiction books on my nightstand at this very moment). And to be clear, I think this is an encouraging trend, for several reasons. I appreciate the introspective journey that many seem keen to embark on these days. However, this trend also means that many of us are standing in front of a hundred different doors and pathways regarding our personal growth, unsure which path may be a good one for us to personally explore.

This was part of a recent conversation I had with fellow leadership coach, Nicole Derr. She and I had met recently at a workshop Nicole was running near my area, and after realizing we both operate in similar development spaces, we set up time to chat about the different approaches we both use.

Even from the outset, it was clear neither of us saw the other as “competition.” We both work in leadership development, but we're not chasing the same clients or the same seat at the table, and intuitively we both knew that treating each other like rivals would've just wasted a good conversation. There's enough need for growth and self-awareness to go around, and we’d both rather point someone toward the right fit - even when that fit isn't us - than watch them give up looking altogether.

That's really the point of this blog post, too: there's more than one legitimate road toward growing into a better version of yourself, and the right one depends on what you're actually trying to figure out for yourself.

A rainy Saturday morning, two coffees, and the conversation that eventually became this blog post. Nicole Derr and I at Village Coffee of Sunbury on the day this whole idea started.

Development Path No. 1: Leaning Into What Comes Naturally For You

If you were to think about the moments when you're at your absolute best, chances are that you're not struggling your way through them. You’re likely leaning on a skill that already comes naturally to you. That idea sits at the center of one of the frameworks I bring into my team trainings (Gallup’s CliftonStrengths34 framework), which is rooted in the things about you that are innate, the parts of how you're wired that showed up early in your life and tend to stay fairly consistent over time.

Many personal assessments come at things from a perspective of deficit: “What quality am I poor at that I need to improve? What areas am I weakest in?” (Not always the most motivating place to start, for sure). Rather than starting from a list of flaws to fix, the CliftonStrengths framework starts with a different question altogether:

What talents come naturally to me, and how can I apply these behaviors toward the goals I want to reach?

My own talents, just for the record, lean toward future thinking and quick execution, which is a polite way of saying my two most frequent modes include running and sprinting toward my goals (no walking zones here...though I should probably do some renovation in this area).

It’s also helpful to know that in this framework, there are 34 behaviors in total that fall into four broader categories:

Executing — When there's a decision on the table, are you usually the one who picks it up and runs, turning plans into visible progress? Are you more of a street-level view person vs. a big-picture thinker?

Influencing — Do you find yourself naturally pulling people toward an idea, whether that's through persuading, standing out, or just refusing to let something important go unnoticed? Does verbal communication typically come easily to you?

Relationship Building — Are you the person that a group leans on to hold things together? The person others trust to listen to them, especially when stress levels start to spike?

Strategic Thinking — Do you tend to notice patterns and possibilities before anyone else does, sitting with information for a while before pushing toward action?

People can demonstrate strength across all four categories; however, noticing where you tend to lean first can reveal insights about how you tend to move through change, conflict, and relationships.

Development Path No. 2: Growing By Shifting What You've Learned Along the Way

A preview of The Leadership Circle Profile results, from the morning Nicole and I spent digging into the measurable behaviors behind each assessment.

Now think about the opposite moments, the ones where you catch yourself reacting the same way you always do, even when some part of you knows it isn't serving you anymore. This is where Nicole’s approach comes into play: The Leadership Circle Profile. Rather than starting from your natural wiring, it looks at the underlying beliefs and assumptions driving your behavior, what shows up as “Creative Competencies” when you're leading at your most effective, and the “Reactive Tendencies” that come up when you're leading from self-protection instead. It's also a 360º assessment, meaning it pulls in feedback from the people around you, so you're not just relying on your own read of yourself.

The questions that this self-assessment is designed to surface include:

• How are my Reactive Tendencies to comply, control, or protect limiting my effectiveness, authentic expression, and empowering leadership?

  
  

• In contrast, what Creative Competencies have I developed to increase fulfillment and achievement for me, my team, and my organization?

  
  

• What underlying thinking patterns are shaping my behavior, and where might I like to have different possibilities and choices?

  
  

Whereas the previous framework (CliftonStrengths) asks, "What's already working well, and how do I lean into that more?," the Leadership Circle Profile assessment instead asks: "What beliefs and behaviors are pulling the strings for me, and which ones am I ready to change?" Both are useful questions. They just start from different angles.

Which Path Fits You?

Comparing notes on paper, CliftonStrengths results laid out and picked apart line by line.

The honest answer is, it depends on what you're actually trying to solve for right now. A good indicator that the CliftonStrengths approach would be worth exploring: you finish certain tasks feeling more energized than when you started, while other tasks - even ones that aren't especially hard - leave you feeling completely wiped out. That gap is usually pointing toward something about how you're wired and the kinds of activities you naturally enjoy vs. find inherently draining to do.

On the other side, let’s say you keep landing in the same frustrating spot with different people, or having a version of the same conflict on repeat with others on your team. That cycle could be a sign of a deeper pattern emerging in your behavior, the kind of thing that a more in-depth diagnostic assessment like The Leadership Circle Profile is built to surface, since it also pulls in 360º feedback from the people who actually see you in action.

Neither framework replaces the other, and you don't have to commit to just one and never revisit another. I personally got a lot of insight from seeing my results through Nicole’s report and then comparing it to my CliftonStrengths results. Some people will start with a strengths-based approach to help build up self-awareness first, then move into something more values-focused later on, once they're ready to work on specific habits they want to change.

The Insights: For Leaders & Managers

If you're leading other leaders or managing at a senior level, the following questions can help you figure out which path fits where you want to go from here:

• When stress rises on my team, do I notice myself defaulting to control or certainty, rather than staying open to other people's input?

  
  

• Is there a gap between how I experience my own leadership and how the people I lead actually experience it?

  
  

• Is my next growth level really about scaling the strengths that got me into this role, or about examining a habit that no longer serves me, but I haven't let go of yet?

If these spark some curiosity for you, you may want to check out a framework like The Leadership Circle Profile. For those in the Ohio area, I’d recommend contacting Nicole Derr in this field, who brings extensive experience working with senior leaders and executives on exactly this kind of behavioral work. You can find Nicole at https://nicolederr.com/.

The Insights: For Individuals & Teams

A closer look at the assessment, tracing through the results one theme at a time.

If you're still figuring out which areas you operate most effectively in, or if you're part of a team trying to work better together but can’t seem to move beyond stagnation or personality conflicts, CliftonStrengths may be worth looking into. Although some take the assessment to simply spark individual growth and awareness, it's arguably even more useful in a team setting, since we know none of us operate in a vacuum, and how we show up directly affects the people around us (and their reactions affect us right back, too). When a team can see each other's strengths laid out plainly, a lot of the friction that usually gets chalked up to "personality differences" turns out to actually be a talent mismatch nobody had ever realized before.

There’s a plethora of paths available to people these days looking to do some inner work and self-improvement. Realistically, there are more options than any one person could sort through on their own. Even if the option you pick first isn't one that you absolutely love, it still gives you useful data: a clearer sense of what works for you (or what doesn’t) and what to try next.

So here's my challenge for you: determine one action for your own development, and take one measurable step toward actually doing it. Bonus points if you tell others about it too, so it helps keep you accountable. Ideally though, this should be something that's actually within reach for you right now. Finish that book that's been sitting on your nightstand (yes, even the one you've restarted three times), ask a friend for honest feedback about how you show up when things don't go your way; try out some of the credible tools out there like The Leadership Circle Profile or Gallup CliftonStrengths if you want a qualitative look at why you exhibit the behavioral patterns you do. Either way, you'll walk away with new insights into how much your own patterns of behavior are shaping your relationships, your work, and everything else around you.

Additional Links

• The Self-Improvement Craze (Western University, July 2026).

• View Nicole Derr's blog post on this same topic here.

• What Gallup CliftonStrengths Reveals About Teamwork: 2 min video.

• Visit my profile on LinkedIn.